Jom makan?

Assalamualaikum. Dah makan belum? Kalau belum boleh makan kat sini. Gua post gambar makanan khas untuk kau. As a masterchef wannabe, terlebih dahulu kita kena melebihkan pemakanan.

Semua gambar di bawah adalah hasil nikmat duit mama abah. Dan tentu sekali kurniaan Tuhan. Terima kasih kerana sudi membawa gua jalang jalang makang!

Semua makanan tersebut adalah kesukaan gua. Soal kesedapannya tak usah dipertikai. Mestilah sedap.

Last but not least, sesuatu makanan itu takkan terasa sedapnya tanpa keizinan-Nya. Burp. Forget not to say - Alhamdulillah.

Soal Kematangan

Semalam aku 17. Hari ni naik genap 18. Selamat hari lahir semua kembarku sedunia. Terasa sangat odd. Mungkin kerana aku masih dalam usaha mengenal diri aku sendiri. Proses kematangan. Ahah kau tak suka dengar perkataan 'matang' ni kan. Seumpama aku terlalu rigid tentang peraturan kehidupan sedangkan  hidup kan sudah cukup seronok tanpa garis. Ya. Kita semua tak matang. Tapi satu hari ni kita perlu matang. Tak pun sedikit. Untuk hidup. Untuk survive. Kena tahu skema kehidupan. At least. I know, I read this on someone I truly respect. And it struck me. 

Umur 14 - 25 adalah waktu dimana kita didalam usaha mencari "Identiti diri". Sudah tentu identiti diri adalah sangat penting kerana ia adalah apa yang melambangkan seseorang insan. Ia apa yang menjadikan dia berbeza daripada manusia-manusia lain.  

So the idea there is that how you gonna carry your profile in your future journey is basically based on what would happen in this 11 years. Whats your biggest time consumer now and thats generally how you'll ended up yourself.

Jika di dalam waktu itu kita hanya habiskan masa dengan hiburan, maka didalam kadar peratusan tingginya, begitu jugalah kita nanti apabila sudah meningkat dewasa. Dan jika masa-masa kita dihabiskan dengan menyendiri, maka alamatnya sudah tentu kita menjadi seorang anti-sosial yang sangat sukar untuk digaul.

And so its always better to do something nice in these times my fellow kawan. Nice, you know like making real friends, exploring the world, mengenal Tuhan, travelling, reading things even you doesnt understand enough, painting or just anything. Through you life dictionary. And try to find a meaning behind them so we hardly get frustrated. Nanti dah besar kau tak termampu buat semua ni. Masa kau jadi sikit. Kemampuan kau makin kempis. We dont even know whether the world will still operates on green or not.  Then when its our old ages we wouldnt have to look back and regret on the days we've wasted. Mourning for our ugly sides and wish we had that time again. Instead, we will see oh what a beautiful youth we had.

Dan waktu ini jugalah untuk kita bereksperimen tentang hidup dan membuat sebanyak 'kesilapan' yang boleh supaya kita menjadi lebih matang dan mampu memiliki perspektif yang lebih meluas. Seperti kata Nami, "masa muda inilah kau ada lesen untuk jadi bodoh."

Ahah aku terasa semangat sentimental. What with Imagine Dragons Its Time echoing all over my head. But then it always happen that we stuck in choosing our next destination, as to what path to choose. The left or the right one? So many choices. Tapi yang menjadi juri hanya otak ini yang tak cukup makan garam lansung. Maka apa yang aku pilih kebarangkalian adalah ralat. Nak tahu kenapa. Dari pembacaan, biar aku cerita kenapa. In our body, we dont own only a soul but also a brain. Plus other thousands tiny mechanisms made up of only God knows . Yeah you know that. Everyone knows that. But not everyone knows how it works. Like this.

There's this prefrontal cortex, behind the forehead. Its sort of like the president pf the brain, in charge of calculation and rational thought. It's also the last part of the brain to mature, which is why teenagers often get into so much trouble.

And there's this amygdala. A tiny spot which is centrally located. Since a teenager's decision-making center isn't completely turned on yet, so they rely on this little piece of the brain instead. This is the impulsive epicenter of the brain - the one that houses feelings like fear and anger and gut instinct. Or, in other words - the part of brain that corresponds to "because my friends thought it was a good idea, too"

Bagi aku inilah prosesnya. Belajar seperti jauhari untuk mengenal manikam. Soal apa itu kematangan kita lihat bagaimana aku dan kau ketika tua nanti. Itulah matang yang telah kau semai dengan cara kau, aku dengan cara aku.  

Buat masa ini, untuk menjawab masalah multiple personality disorder ini, aku rasa aku masih dikawal amygdala itu haha. Maybe my rational, planned, premeditated thought is still in the development stage. Beginilah aku. Left in between two junctions. And so there I am. Tercegat. Even for the small little thingy like whether to use English or Malay? To talk for first or keep shut to strangers?  Or either to call yourself as aku gua I ana saya hamba beta or what, patik? Or if you have a friend, and she is about to commit sins, the kind you didnt do and will never do, and you know it. You couldnt stop her. You freak out. Would you escape? Run away from her and the sin? or would you accompany her and get involve with its everthingness - the consequences?  Or for some state you couldnt even describe. Aku terasa keperluan berguru. Persoalannya, if you dont know what to do, then what would you do?

restless

Just sitting around. Went to some places with no money earn but vice versa. Reading and rereading all books I have. It all makes me sick day by day, hearing you works like the rest while I am busy in my own world. I thought I could have done murals in these past weeks but I havent received any response from the other side yet, so it left me hanging like this. Merely looking at the photos of how fun you guys at a day work. I used to do part time job too, back when I was form three , when I got so bored in pmr aftermath. But to see the fact I am jobless in my spm aftermath, is unbelievable. 

Its hard to decide things when actually your decisions are depending on other people. Eventually you stuck between your own desire and other people expectation. Resulting to nowhere. Need a grab man. Its scary to think I gonna have my exam result soon, what with the becoming pru. People are fighting for nonsense accusations and still, judging people on what their brainpower got. and thats mainly the reason why I hate politics, because the people in it. My mates, you know what I'm talking about. Why do we need to interfere with something which we dont know where the truth basis is?

You dont have the right to judge me, or just to anyone else. Well then I hope I'll strike in my spm and live happily ever after. God had plan the best for me, and so for you but still. I hate to think what gonna happen.  All the process of being there, to retrieve our result I mean, was too challenging. I have to admit my fifth and final year at that school was my most painful and tough year. I dont really have any best friend to talk to, cause I know I'd hurt them as much as I hurt myself anyway. It wasnt  like I was lonely, in fact I feel blessed with so many friends I magically got in 2012. Doing it alone was better, and safer, I thought. People expect high on me. It was tiring. Thats why I dont bother to give them the pleasure. I dont care to even be an anonymous cause I like to contribute to the world with my things in a quite life. You may hate me. How many enemies I got was somehow a miracle too. Ha. ha. It was exhausting to live up to meet people expectation. You dont expect anything, dont judge. I really, am nothing. Ordinary as it is. But all along the days and months, even though I wasnt a good muslim but Allah was and is still there. The best listener in the universe. And up until now, when my times is filled with leisure, the feeling hasnt gone. Why in the world I am writing this really? Just for just I guess. As if my restlessness would evaporate. Being a jobless vagavonder, I cant help feeling all these uneasy, nervous and restless. Im scared. In Allah we trust. Lets hope these efforts will be paid with victory. Amin. Amin. Amin.

*By the way for you who wanna explore various ways to kill the time heres the notpron. The hardest riddle available on the internet. Play it, be humble with your computer and get amused.

Sudah Berkahwin

Lately I really like to look at wedding photos especially the pros punya. Even been able to attend some wedding event had already made me happy, I guess. So I can take a shot or two, or none at all but to look at their content faces.

Jiran gua.

The food was aplenty, and the best. Imagine the hand isnt there ok

Kawan abah punya anak. Comel. Tapi bukan ini

Ini. Kerana malu untuk ke hadapan maka apa yang adalah gambarnya. 

Maafkan gua kerana tajuk agak kontroversional.