Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Self-discovery

Today is one of those days I had to awkwardly hug someone. Because, you know, girls like to hug every time they meet or actually on any random time. Not just to hug her became an issue, I had to explain why I am so not comfortable with hugs, which you know I am so miserable at explaining myself. And bless you this conversation took place in our studio which means everyone can actually hear what we're saying.

I decided to post that on InstaStory today.

I openly wrote on how I am not comfortable with touch and its getting very hard to explain it to people, especially with my best girl friends.

Later I received a private message from eizza suggesting me I should just say 'I have personal space issue', I never think of such term so I googled that out and yes! There's a disorder linked for that issue!

Personal Space Issue.

It all make sense now.

I was so happy not because I have that disorder or anything. But I was so glad there's a term that I can simply use whenever the needs arrive. And part of me is happy to have discovered another character in my personality. Its not major but its interesting because I'm so into that category.

I am always aware of direct touch on me, and by always I mean ALWAYS. Be it from cat, human or any animal. Now I get it why I am not so fond of some animal, because they can touch me whenever.  Now I get it why I cant eat when there's a cat nearby, because at most time the cat will touch me, or worst, jump on my lap.

And my private zone is my castle. I get very uncomfortable when people enter my room. And even now in the UK, my current room is a no-no area to the whole Sheffielders haha. 

Another relatable point of PSI, I hate being in line with someone at my back, which at most time I tried to avoid. In boarding school before, I hardly wait in line for anything. I let other people iron their school uniforms first because I dont like they staring through me. I remember leaving a queue just because the people in the line get so cramped and just recently in Manchester Airport, I let the people behind me to be in front of me just because I can't stand they standing too close to me. 

I spent quite some time reading about this interesting personal space issue over the web. Because I'm surprised how relatable it is.

I leave this one article just for the fun of it :p