Power Within You

Now I truly realized the fact that everyone has a power within ourselves. And there is no one to conceal it except the owner of the power himself. And that statement came out from me after I attended the Hijrah Leadership Camp in Jelebu recently. It was after all, lucky to be there. Joyful and useful in any ways it went. 

Well I don't really know if that power can be translated into photographs anyway. Really, it was nothing. But I was just wondering . . . Okay, I wont talk much more. Just see these stolen photos (from fared and nadia thanks) , and find the similarities. A photo worth a thousand stories, isnt it?

Tumbuk.
( Tolong ignore budak baju hijau tu, comel kan tumbukan dia.)

Adoi macam sama pulak aku tengok =.="

And it wasn't just us. See the rest as well. 

Tumbuk II

Tumbuk (in process) III

Tumbuk IV

Tumbuk V

Yang ni lagi hebat.
Nampak gaya macam main lawan2, tapi pakai hanger (???)  atas pentas pulak tu!

Last but not least, Tumbuk VI

Now you see what I mean? Everyone has suddenly transformed into a troop of Power Rangers.

Tahniah Hijrah Leadership Camp! Anda telah berjaya melahirkan sekelompok generasi Power Rangers yang hebat, Terima kasih ;)

“Dari Amirul mu’minin Umar bin Al-Khotthob rodiallahu’anhu, ia berkata, “Aku mendengar Rasulullah shalallahu ‘alaihi wasallam bersabda, Sesungguhnya amalan-amalan itu berdasarkan niatnya dan sesungguhnya bagi setiap orang apa yang ia niatkan, maka barangsiapa yang berhijrah kepada Allah dan RasulNya maka hijrahnya adalah kepada Allah dan RasulNya, dan barangsiapa yang hijrahnya kerana untuk menggapai dunia atau wanita yang hendak dinikahinya maka hijrahnya kepada apa yang hijrahi”

. (HR. Al-Bukhari )

There's nothing much left, except memories

Tada... Here I am after such a long weeks of absence.

Things ran very fast and suddenly they went slower and I guess, steadier. But for most of the things, that's how they works. Things don't go on the same pace every time.

And before anything, I am going to use past-tense. I thought I should let you know this. Even though it is really not up-to-date, it doesn't matter anyway, that we didn't win the horsey competition. The theme was 1 Malaysia and all other participants were sending completely 1 Malaysia-designated-horses. At first that was what we thought, the organizer wanted something different and fresh, and we did something different, and obviously out of their box. I am glad that eventually it has finished, and everything's over, though the farewell was quite momentous. And here was our horse. . . 

This was taken by Hosyi (-,-") exactly when the workers came to fetch our horsey. T___T Who's that girl anyway?

Fuuu.. The usrah being held just before the horsey departed. Everyone was unwilling to lose the grab, isnt it. I told you.

Working still in progress, at this point.  

The transformized horse of the future Malaysia. Go Malaysia! Malaysia Boleh! *Am feeling soo patriotic suddenly!

This pinky was the one who got the Champion, from Convent. It was way too Malaysian kan. Congratulation! T____T"

Part of us - the kuda.com crew.

At the end of the day, we were dubbed saguhati, where thankfully, we were granted with some $.. We managed to do a little Domino feast later on. Anyway, the best part of that final day was.....( drum roll ) . .  SULTAN MIZAN was there as well! At the closing ceremony!! And what that mean? Yes, I reprenting my our team honored the saguhati prize in front of Sultan or, say, I was confronting Sultan Mizan! Err I know that doesnt really suit the scenery but what is the best word to describe that, let just say He and his wife were there with their cute daughter who ride horse as well. So the ceremony went different as Sultan was there, and that was my first time attending such an event. But it didn't occurred so formal that formality is number one that I wasn't so dyingly nervous. But still, it was nerve-racking. You got to do the 'daulat tuanku' first before anything ahead, that's the courtesy.

Honestly, I was happy for that very little experience. I don't really know the other reasons why I was ultimately happy that day, but my only reason is because of the memories of all those days 24/7 we had that thing worked. We even visited Cik Hamir in his stuudio for some tips from the pro. It wasn't that easy, not barely painting but in my view, it was deeper than what it's ought to be. It's a right choice for us to be in one team. It really gave something to keep in mind, kuda was. And for that sultan part. it was totally unexpected, because the moment we departed there I really thought it was a simple occasion where no real Sultan involved!

Thanks guys for making it really happened; Baiti, Farah, Nina, Teng, Jehaada, All, Aliff, Alimi,  Dekyat.

Sentimental as it seems,

there's nothing much left,

except memories. 

Faded

For more than once, I tried to run away from everything I own. I want to creep  into the deepest hole I can find and stay there without fear until everyone completely forget who I am. And the world will mark me as anonymous so I am free and untied to anyone.

Remember how I once told you that I was working on a gigantic horse sculpture? Not me alone though, along with other nine friends as well. I merely thought it was no more than a work. A work that involve art and that's that. Another work that was willingly added to my jumbled piles of  things-to-do list. Nevertheless on the contrary, it silently brought me a chaos, a type of which I never felt before. It almost knocked me over. But throughout times, I can simply say it was very problematic. Earlier, I noticed that I'm not suppose to bear this all alone since I have other nine teammates as well, but the fact that I couldnt share the problem with them just easily like that was the reason why I'm all alone. You know how much I couldnt say what I really want to say. One appointed to me that I have a communication breakdown, but I hate to admit that sure enough. I coulnt believe it either since I know very much that I am a person who was vry unlikely to be shy and quiet.

There are few who have been so destructive over this piece of art which later on blend in the confusion I already held inside of me. I didnt blame those peoples, for I know they have their own purpose, but the thing is, they have never talk to me - as a matter of fact. If what I do is wrong they should have said what is supposed to be said and that settle the case or if its not, it helps a lot. But what they did was talking behind my back until one day the news came to me all by itself. At this point, I started to consider what I do is somehow not totally right, but I never consider it as wrong as what they uttered.

Amidst that days as well, I was accused for doing another thing. At that moment I couldnt think whether I really have done that or I was simply accused for doing so. I hate when this happened because fyi, I am so pathetic at memory games and recalling past events - even though that memories may means a lot to me. So at that moment I took the responsibility and admitted. And the consequences grew bigger. Thank you to those who firstly started that story , I dont know who and I dont even want to know that.  But you made me realize that wherever I am I have to stay mediocre and never trust anybody. Even until now I couldnt make up the real answer. But if I really done it the flow will exactly the same. I want to really cocentrate on my study or at least, no boundary but this matter is somehow bulging and bothering me.  So still, thanks to you. I wonder why you have to make things as this complicated? I am now trying to make this thing fade as best as I could. Thats why I am extremely happy to attend a camp next week. At least they dont bother me to see me and vice versa.

I remember how one day I really really wanted to snatch a hatchet and almost - very almost broke the sculpture into pieces. I remember how eventually I have a feeling towards that non-living life that is, hatred. It dont make sense to say that I would miss that troublesome eywwh anymore. For the time being, I changed my ambition to none. I dont want art stream anymore.  I almost resigning as well, but  the saying " . . . Dibuang jawatan lebih bermaruah daripada meletak jawatan. . . " had succesfully stop me. Obviously the head student's mind was way better than me. Phew. I am no more than ordinary girl. And did I diagnosed myself to have a royal schizophrenic? According to Adam Young, I bet I had. Am trying to progress - even slowly.

Goodbye now to the breakdown between thought, emotion and behavior. Farewell to faulty perception and inapt actions and feelings. Goodbye to withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion. Good riddance to an overwhelming sense of mental fragmentation!

Life is way too short to worry about the past, and I for one, don’t have time for anxiety.

Enough. Innallaha ma'ana.

Short Shawal Update

Suddenly I was awarded by the thought of updating my blog! Ahah!

Well it Syawal isnt it? A lot of events occured. And lots of photos were captured to memorize the moments. This year Raya was lot more awesome than ever, because it fell simultaneously with The Independence Day! Am really proud to be a Malaysian! And of course a proud Muslim obviously. I will tell you my version of aidilfitri. Okay orite, I think it will be postponed next fortnight ( i'm going back to hostel ) as I've decided this will be a rather short update. Anyway, we were handled a huge horse back at school to be designated as beautiful as we could. Hmmm let see how we will progress with this horse - in this very short period, only three weeks. Mark you, three weeks!

See I told you, its pretty enormous. And as youve seen, I hate the tail very much. 

And before I mark off, its very crucial to wish;

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN JIKA SAYA TERSINGGUNG ANDA :)

Muslimeen wa muslimat, bittaufiq wannajah fi kulli hal!
Till then XD