april in a week

Thank god I'm still breathing. 

This entire week has been so hectic and tiring. yet unfortunately, there was my mood swings too. As in right now. I think Im so messed up. And I need to reach out somewhere. But then again I didnt, therefore I am, stilll. :/ 

But anyway. 

The last thing I can recall on past events is the young writers award in mariott. I'm pretty much enjoying myself there. The theme is the hobbit of the shire! Something I never know before haha but its cool though! And costumes! I wanna test my sewing ability so I handmaded my cloak. But at the end all I used is jahitan jelujur kasar hahaha. Anyway its great to see so many awesome people around. Seeing fearless kids conquering the stage, I felt encouraged to strive for my life with the things I enjoy. People appreciate you with the thing you do, not the thing you didnt. I believe all this a by-product, they wont come unless you are not expecting it. So hah, my conclusion; do not live your life to please anyone, believe me it will tire you up. There you go. It isn't really related i think haha. but it is relevant XD

People ask me if I am a writer, and I said no. lol. but true. I can only write for myself. I would rather say a learner. Up until today, I still find its a hard work to translate my thoughts into words in an exact meaning. There you go, kudos to all authors in the world! Even the reason why I created this blog in the first place is merely to practise my english and help me become more clarified. I dont know if that had worked lol but my reasons has changed now. Its great enough to share even a portion of my thought to anyone.

Sabrina is awesome though. I'm glad that I was invited. T_T And as expected Amir won an award for his articles. I'm so happy for them I can't describe this. But whatever it is, as long as you enjoy the thing you do, it doesn't matter whether you get the award or not. In another words, look forward to your awards in the hereafter. and that is the ultimate achievement of any human being ever.

And before I ramble too much, I went to kelantan again, this remind me how freaking excited I was when I started travel alone back before. I took lots of photos and talk to almost all strangers I met. But the feeling was gone now that I didn't even bring my camera along, let alone talking to anyone. It was raining most of the time. Both my pergi and balik bus were delayed for an hour or more (which frustrate me even more). I didnt even see any rainbow. I wish I'd known a friend that enjoy traveling. I guess it would not only steer you away from any unwanted sadness, it must have been much more fun obviously. Seems like I need to find new motives for a trip ever again haha. and sidenote, I need to buy a traveler backpack after this haha I look so out of place with my (yellow) school bag.

And finally, uniten open debate! The fee per person merely is quite mahal for me but surprisingly I did agreed to enter it, tho im full of wax. It was intended for me to help the juniors but eventually it was them who helped me. They moved me. Now that I'm no longer a school kid, the feeling in debating is so different. I started to feel people really take into account your point of view. And after four years joining debate, I think I've found my true reason to keep me on this track. I may not continue debating in the future, but im not deleting it either. fakhry, saddiq, arinah and syarif. They may not know but the reasons are through them. 

But I need to be honest that I, again, frustrate myself there. Apart from aforementioned emotionally unstable, I'm getting more awkward with people. I cant blame maahad for this i know right. but too bad I cant help it. but then again, I am feeling that is completely okay. Haha. And regarding the debate, its all a good debate. Overall two out of our four teams broke to octos. We had two debates with mislead cases,  and lost one round for fluency manner haha but we had fun. I dont blame a bad adjudication here haha. And learnt a lot. I met Maxx, a former friend of my sister, whom i truly respect, and read sickly a  lot. I realized im really lacking in SQ so I really see the dire to read a lot after this. Maxx is really a think tank! He's one of the adj core. Which explains why the motions are all real good! But too bad he adj me during the worst debate i've ever had, which is a politic debate, and the down side, he recognized me even before the debate started. Following are the motions.

ROUND 1: THBT INDIVIDUALS WHO FAIL TO APPEAR IN COURT FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY SHOULD BE ASSASSINATED 

ROUND 2: THB IN THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT TO SECEDE. 

ROUND 3: THBT JOURNALISM SHOULD ABANDON ITS STANCE OF BEING “NON-INTERVENTIONIST” WHEN COVERING ATROCITIES. 

ROUND 4: THBT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN DENIED THE RIGHT OF STATEHOOD BY THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY SHOULD BE GIVEN THE RIGHT TO ABODE IN ANY NATION OF THEIR CHOICE.  

ROUND 5: ASSUMING THE DUPLICATION/REPLICATION OF PAIN WAS POSSIBLE, THW ADMINISTER PAIN TO CONVICTS IN PROPORTION TO THE CRIMES THEY HAVE COMMITTED. 

OCTOS: IN THIS MODERN ERA, THBT STATES SHOULD RECOGNIZE THE CONSENT OF MINORS.  

QUARTERS: THBT THE UNITED STATES SHOULD EXTEND ITS ANTISEMITISM LAWS TO ISLAMOPHOBIA. 

SEMIS: THBT MORAL RELATIVISM IS AN OBSTRUCTION TO PEACE. 

FINALS: THBT POST MORTEM, YOUR BODY BELONGS TO SCIENCE. 

The motion itself require much understanding before we talk about the issue. As for us the amateur we spent half of the prep just for that haha. And good thing we had a sleepover in syakirahs house! We did maggie fiesta and played true or lie and slept at 3am and come back to debate when its morning. But being in our debate community is real fun and now I'm back to face my reality, Im struggling to stay positive. Sigh.

I end the post with our lovely mates!